Let’s Get Ready to Rum Ball!

I want to thank a Twitter follower of mine, RookieKoo, for giving me the idea for today’s Michael Buffer-inspired post title. Of course, if you’re not familiar with the iconic boxing ring announcer’s catchphrase, then none of this will make any sense, and you’ll just have to trust me when I tell you it was an amusing reference.

There are hundreds of ways to make rum balls, but this one’s my favorite method. It’s very easy, especially if you have stale brownies lying around. I know, that never happens, which is why I’m linking to an all-purpose brownie recipe below the post. This will also work nicely with store-bought brownies, but stay away from anything that’s frosted. We don’t want to add any additional fat into the recipe, since that will hinder the absorption of the rum.

The amount of rum you add depends on how cakey and/or dry your brownies are, but for a half-pound, you’ll probably need between 1/4 and 1/3 of a cup to soak the crumbs sufficiently. A proper rum ball should be a fire hazard. By the way, I’m not responding to any comments asking about how to make these without using rum. In my humble opinion, you can’t.

The other issue I'm not going to be a big help with is altering the type of chocolate. I used a quality dark chocolate (70% cocoa), which worked beautifully for this, and hope you do the same. I don't have a lot of experience working with chocolate, so I'm not sure what will happen if you want to use white, milk, or other kinds of chocolate for the coating.

I realize these are more of a candy, than a cookie, but after about a half-dozen rum balls, culinary semantics will be the furthest thing from your mind. I hope you give them a try on your holiday dessert table. Enjoy!

Ingredients for about 20 small rum balls:

8 ounces stale chocolate brownies, crumbled

1/4 to 1/3 cup dark rum, or as needed

4 oz dark chocolate (I used Lindt Dark Chocolate 70% Cocoa)

NOTE: For a quick and easy brownie that will work well for these rum balls, check out this recipe from Allrecipes.com. I recommend checking out the comments on that recipe page before starting.

Hello from the Land of the Garbage Plate

I’m currently in Western New York visiting my family, so I thought I’d repost this video I shot way back in 2007, featuring my attempt to eat this region's most infamous culinary creation, the Garbage Plate.

The original Garbage Plate was created at Nick Tahou’s in Rochester, but this version was shot at my favorite local lunch spot, Charlie Riedel’s, in Canadaigua, NY. I highly encourage you to read the original post here for more information, as well as some very entertaining reader comments. Enjoy!

Merguez Sausage & Rice Stuffed Acorn Squash – Let’s Go Edible Bowling

I’ve received a few requests lately for a demo on how to do chili in an edible bread bowl. I’m not sure if these people don’t know it’s simply a round loaf with a hole dug out of it, or if they’re just into watching me teach incredibly obvious things, but that’s one food wish that may not come true. What’s next, watch Chef John make ice?

Anyway, unlike the aforementioned bread bowl, this sausage and rice stuffed acorn squash recipe is an example of an edible vessel that begs for a detailed demonstration. The stuffing is very easy, as is the cooking method, but the acorn squash prep does need to be done carefully and with precision.

As far as the ingredients go, this will work with any sausage, but please keep in mind you’ll want to adjust your seasonings depending on what you choose. I used mint because it pairs very well with the spicy lamb sausage, but basil or parsley may work better with a hot Italian sausage, for example.

This really is a recipe that’s greater than the sum of its parts. I love the way the flavors seep deep into the soft, sweet flesh of the squash. What a great cold weather meal. I hope you give it a try soon. Enjoy!

Ingredients for 4 Portions:

2 acorn squash, halved, seeded

8 oz spicy lamb sausage, or any raw sausage

1/2 tsp salt, or to taste

1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1/2 tsp ground cumin

1/4 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 red bell pepper, diced

1 tbsp chopped fresh mint

3 tbsp buttermilk or plain yogurt

1 egg

1 cup cooked rice

1 tbsp plain breadcrumbs

1 tbsp grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

2 tsp olive oil

*Bake at 350 degrees F., loosely covered for 1 hour, then uncover for 30 minutes or until tender.

Deboning a Turkey by Proxy

After posting my turkey ballotine photos from Thanksgiving, I was inundated with requests (demands) for a video demonstration. Of course, that would have meant buying and eating another turkey, so I decided to take the easy way out and post this clip from one of my heroes, Jacques Pépin.

This is from pepinfan’s YouTube page, and it looks to be an episode from the venerable chef’s public television series. This was the exact same technique I used on the turkey, except I needed to use a knife for several steps that he's simply doing with his hands. Hopefully it gives you some idea how it’s done. Enjoy!

Cranberry sauce, bread sauce

So, let's dispense with the cranberry sauce first, because it's a piece of cake. There are more complicated recipes you can use, but this one is just fine and takes about ten seconds.

250g cranberries
100ml fresh orange juice
100g light brown sugar

1 Put the sugar and the orange juice in a pan and bring to a bubble. Tip in the cranberries and simmer for about 8 minutes - until some of the cranberries are still round and the rest have burst open and are all gooey.

Decant this into an airtight container, chuck it somewhere cool and forget about it until Christmas. The sauce will thicken on cooling so don't worry if it looks a bit runny.


I was all ready to make a similarly simple bread sauce but my friend Henry forced upon me a complicated one from his mother. As he was coming to dinner and gave me a magazine that the recipe was printed in I felt like I really couldn't not make it.

Henry

As it turns out, it is absolutely amazing. You could just eat it, on its own, spooned out of the tin. So I really recommend it, despite it being a bit of a faff. Do it up to three days ahead of time.

Aromatic brown bread sauce

1 large onion
150g wholemeal bread, crusts on
6 cloves
4 cardamom pods
some nutmeg
salt and pepper
75g butter
900ml milk - whole or semi
300ml double cream yikes

Preheat your oven to 130C. Did you notice that said 130C and not 180C?

1 Chop your onion up VERY small. I chopped mine up normally and it was too big, so next time I do this I will chop it up normall and then go at those chunks with a knife to bash the bits up tiny. Do not be tempted to put it in the food processor as you don't want it a sludge.

2 Tear the bread into small pieces - about the size of a 50p coin and put in an ovenproof dish with the onion

3 Put the cloves and the cardamom into a small piece of muslin or cotton, tie with string and chuck into the dish. This is an annoying instruction and I'm not sure you couldn't just throw the pods and cloves in free and then fish them out later.

4 Grate over a generous sprinkling of nutmeg, salt and pepper and dot with butter. Mix the milk and the cream together and pour over the bread and onion. Cover tightly with foil or a lid and then cook for 2 hours(!). Stir once or twice during cooking.

Really worth doing if you can be arsed. Everyone said how nice it was at our practice dinner, even a French girl who is normally rude about everything. Henry said it was a pretty good imitation of his mother's sauce but then ruined it by asking if my stuffing was out of a packet.

Easy as Chocolate Pecan Pie

Despite the colloquial idiom, pies are not that easy, and in my opinion, it’s not the dough that separates the good from the great, it’s the fillings. With fresh fruit pies, you have to worry about too much or too little liquid. Custard-based fillings are texturally tricky; and don’t even get me started on lemon meringue.

However, there’s one category of pie whose fillings are so easy, they’re nearly impossible to mess up. That would be the seasonally appropriate nut pie. If you can work a whisk, and set a timer, you have what it takes to excel in this genre.

We added a handful of chocolate chips, but the recipe is based on this one from Allrecipes.com, which I came across looking for corn syrup free versions. By the way, it’s not that I think corn syrup is a “bad” ingredient, I just know that most people don’t have it on hand, and I’d hate for them to buy a whole bottle when a perfectly wonderful pie can be made without it.

In fact, the filling is so deliciously decadent the crust is almost an afterthought. If you ever want to rationalize buying a frozen pie shell, this is your chance. Of course, if you want real “homemade,” you can check out this video recipe for making pie dough, but the point is, either way your chocolate pecan pie is going to rock. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

1 9-inch pie shell

2 eggs

1 cup light brown sugar

1/4 cup white sugar

1/2 cup butter

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour (I didn't add in this recipe, but suggest you do. Add with the sugars.)

1 tablespoon milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup chocolate chips

1 1/2 cup chopped pecans

Jamie Oliver's get-ahead gravy

We had our trial-run Christmas lunch yesterday. Except we did it a dinnertime. And I'll tell you this about Christmas: it is a fucking hassle. I can't quite believe I've got to do all that all over again in 3 weeks' time. And I was only on pudding, sauces, relishes and decorations - my husband had the real sweat on doing the turkey and all the rest.

But what are you going to do? It's just life, innit. Like I was complaning on and on and on to my single Hot Career friends J- and E- the other week about how I thought I'd be a wife and mother as a bit of a retro-laugh and now I'm right in it and marvelling what a hilarious joke I seem to have played on myself. I was expecting a tidalwave of sympathy, because I am a moaney old cow, but they both just looked at me blanky and boredly and said "Yeah, life is vile."

Since then I've tried to complain a bit less about everything.

Anyway look, for god's sake, if this isn't already in your repertoire, do Jamie Oliver's get-ahead gravy if you're lumbered with Christmas this year. It's a ruddy life-saver. Do it this weekend and freeze it.

This is not Jamie's exact recipe. The real thing is easily sourced on the internet.

Jamie Oliver's get-ahead gravy
Makes 1 litre, enough for about 8 people

8 chicken wings or wings or stock bones or whatever
2 carrots, quartered
1 small onions, quartered
2 sticks of celery, trimmed and, you guessed it: quartered
fresh sage leaves - about 5?
fresh rosemary - two sticks?
3 bay leaves
1 star anise IF YOU WANT. I, personally, didn't think the Chinesey flavour this imparted was very appropriate, although it's nice
4 rashers streaky bacon, snipped
4 tbs plain flour
1 tbs cranberry sauce
some olive oil

1 Tip everything except the flour and the cranberry sauce into a roasting tin, slosh some olive oil over it, salt and pepper, turn it all around to coat and put in a 180C oven for 1 hour

2 Take it out and bash everything up in the pan. Jamie recommends using a potato masher but I found stabbing everything with an assortment of wooden items, such as a spoon and then a rolling pin, was easier



although I took this photo at the masher stage

3 Put the pan on the hob on a low heat and sprinkle over the flour a spoonful at a time, mixing well in to the mixture after each snowfull

4 Now pour over two litres of water, just cold from the tap, mix together and boil briskly for ten minutes and then simmer for 25. It will reduce by roughly half

5 Strain the gravy. I found this easier to do once through a colander and then once again through a sieve - although this does create more washing up.

6 Now put in tupperware and forget about it until Christmas Eve. Don't bother skimming the fat now because there's something about the freezing/thawing process that draws out the fat from the gravy more effectively.

7 On the day, either just heat this up and finish off with some cranberry sauce and serve OR add the juices from the turkey roasting tin. You are supposed to add the turkey juices, but you will probaby be feeling utterly mental and a bit tearful by this stage and won't be arsed to be adding no damn juices to sauces. So I'm just telling you now that if you want to serve this gravy straight up without turkey juices no-one will notice.